24 days to separation

just reached home, today went down to see the lawyer and have come out of a date to sign the separation paper. on the 20 jan. today meet ah boy and went down together, after that catch up with him. visited my son and he is not feeling well, will be bringing him back tomorrow to stay until saturday. looking forward to tomorrow. i am asking myself why am i so determined in my decision this time, and finally i got the answer because i don wanna to hear her telling me again that being together with me and she have to worry about her three meals. i am not those lazy bum who stay at home and rot, i am always finding work opportunity whenever i can. i am serving the NS now, i also hope i can contribute to the family but this two years is everybody got to go thru. now i am alone fending for myself for the rest of one year and two month, i really dunno how am i going to survive?? i am telling myself i wun get defeated so easily. honestly, i have not been slping well for the past two weeks and i am not trying to act pitiful by writing here, i am a emotional person and this sort of things got to happen is something that i cannot prevent. who dun feel sad. i am only sorry to my son, he is innocent. i wll stop here, keep on writing only make me more vexed up.